Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Louise, first draft

I always thought that emotions are completely held inside our brains. That's where we think and remember and create ideas.

Marty left me this morning. And the very first thing that went through my head made no sense at all. I feel HOT. All my skin is hot and the heat is coming from my very insides and spreading outwards in a way that frightens me. It radiates like a bonfire's warmth emerging from a stone. It echoes in waves and in surges, that feel as if it has an inner source, like an unseen flame flickering, like the pilot light under the gas hot water heater in my laundry.

God, I need to go and wash the laundry. There's a huge pile of dirty clothes that don't fit in the hamper because the kids threw all their sports gear there this morning and there is also the pile of sheets from the sleepover party on Friday and the dog's blanket needs washing and OH MY GOD. What do I do? I don't know what to do. I just don't know how to function anymore. There's no room in my head for figuring out how to cope with this. What do I do?